You are not alone


Straight Partners Anonymous (SPA) is a support organisation for straight (heterosexual) people who discover or are told that their partner is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender  (LGBT), and who need help in coping with this discovery and support in their decision about what to do next.

We are very sorry that you need us, however it is good that you have located SPA. The fact that you are here probably means that you are experiencing some level of distress, or perhaps you are looking for information for yourself or your partner.

We are here to support you. You are not alone. We understand exactly how you are feeling.

SPA is based in the UK and Ireland and was originally set up in December 2008 in a slightly different format. It has been running in its current online form since 2011. We included the word ‘anonymous’ in the group name because members may share as much, or as little, of their identity and personal circumstances as they wish. We take confidentiality very seriously. 

SPA’s purpose is to bring together straight people whose relationship with their gay, lesbian, or bisexual partner is in crisis. The nature of the crisis can be variable; perhaps the LGBT partner has just come out, or perhaps they feel they are are unable to come out of the closet. We exist to support and help each other, not to criticise gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people. Our bywords are confidentiality, privacy, and respect.

SPA is a voluntary support organisation – so we don’t have a fully manned 24/7 response. If you are in crisis right now or feel suicidal, please phone the Samaritans (UK) on: 116 123.

To contact SPA, please click here to get in touch. You will receive an auto reply and then afterwards, a bespoke response.  We will always reply, usually very quickly.

If you are the LGBT partner in the relationship, please pass this web address to your straight partner and encourage them to get in touch. We are here to support them. However, you may find our perspective useful, so please feel free to browse through the website.